oh the shame of it all

[sarea]

Thanks to everyone for your "sympathy" yesterday re: the crab. But I didn't even mention the worst part (I think I was trying to block it out). The fact that it was walking around even after I pulled the head/shell off wasn't actually the worst part, though it was certainly no picnic. The worst part was that its heart -- or whatever serves as a crab's heart -- was STILL BEATING. IN BOTH SIDES OF THE SHELL. Yes, it was rising up and down in the head part, and in the body part. OMG it was so gross. And THEN -- it actually raised a claw up to where its mouth used to be, all slowly like, as if asking, "Dude, where's my head?" *shudders anew*

Took a three-mile walk w/ my friend Julie today, then had brunch at Chinook's. Okay, I have never ever had as good a scone in America as you can get in England (we just don't seem to know how to make them here), but I have to say that this was the best American scone I've ever had. Especially with the honey orange butter. Then we rented a completely awful movie -- "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" -- that I knew wasn't going to be good, but I still had hopes that it would be better than it was. It used every single cheesy cliche you could think of. Seriously. And the saddest part was that the actors in it weren't bad actors! I mean, I love Topher Grace! Sigh. But don't watch it. If I can save you, let me.

Let me save you from something else. I finally finished this horrible romance that I picked up the last time I was in California. It's taken me this long because I couldn't read it anymore after a certain point. But I don't typically like leaving things half-finished, so I read the rest. When you see what it's about, you'll probably think that I was v. naive for hoping that it might possibly be any good, but I totally did have that hope. It sounded so GP, but in a fun way! Not in a I-want-to-burn-this-book-in-a-bonfire-and-dance-around-its-remains way! It was called A Greek God at the Ladies' Club by Jenna Knight.

What if you had sculpted the perfect replica of a gorgeous Greek god and, right before you're about to unveil it to a group of ladies, it comes to life in all its naked glory? What if your creation wanted to reward you by fulfilling your every desire? What would you do?

If you're Alexandra, you'd want to smash something.

The statue of Darius, playboy god, was supposed to bring in much-needed cash for the orphanage where Alex grew up. Now that it has miraculously turned to flesh, she just needs to give it a small imperfection so that it'll turn back into the marble statue she created.

Never mind that she fell in love with him -- it -- a little every day while she was sculpting the exquisite body. Never mind that he -- it -- is every bit as sexy and charming and powerful as she imagined.

And she sure as heck shouldn't be tempted by his heated offer to fulfill her every desire...

Comments

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Yes, the Krazy Book Lady's place makes us all buy books we wouldn't otherwise. It's a sickness, I tell you!

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

Or, you know, Barnes and Noble, where I bought it. <g>

[jade-okelani.livejournal.com]

FULL PRICE. Oh, you should have just let Robbie's poor memory give you an out.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

You're so right. Oh wait, no ... unlike some people, I don't just MAKE SHIT UP whenever I feel like it.

[jade-okelani.livejournal.com]

Oh whatever. Like that crab thing really happened.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! I'm not as good with the prevarication as YOU, where I can make up random STORIES about things that don't really EXIST ... well, you know, other than fanfic. But not real life stuff!!

I'll do it for real someday for you. Then you can watch it skitter around in your kitchen all headless, and WE'LL SEE HOW SMUG YOU ARE THEN. Because, you know, crabs are really just sea-dwelling spiders.

[jade-okelani.livejournal.com]

Youuuuuuuuuuu bitch.

Oh you'll pay for the spider remark. OH YOU'LL PAY.

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Yes! What Jade said! Oh DEAR. I just assumed, 'cause usually you're such a smart girl, that you'd paid, like a quarter for it at the Krazy Book Lady's. Or at least half-price, like I did with "Nerd in Shining Armor!"

I'm very disappointed in you, Sarea. This whole thing is most unsettling.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't be so smashingly perfect ALL the time. I know you will probably need a bit of time to recover from the shock of that news. *patpat*

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Yes. I probably will have to take to my bed.

[akscully.livejournal.com]

Hey, that sounds like a fabulous book. I mean, heated offers! It's like he's breathing really heavily on her.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

I think your similes need work, but anyway, the book is yours. Treasure it always. Did you read FitA??? Well???

[akscully.livejournal.com]

FitA = Best HP AU fic about the Malfoys EVER. Kudos to V.C. Andrews for being so ahead of the curve.

Seriously, awesome book. So overdone and unbelievable. The mother poisoned them! And left them! That's good stuff, man.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

LOL!! I've never thought of them as the Malfoys, but d00d, you're so right, they're all blond and beautiful, aren't they? Chris + Cathy 4ever. Hahahahahaha. Oh, now you have to read the others, if Jade would ever get off her ass and send them to you, along w/ the now-mythical P/J tapes.

[akscully.livejournal.com]

Oh, Chris who learned how to be a doctor by reading encyclopedias or something. And Cathy with her "neat" body. And the rape that wasn't a rape since Cathy was okay with it. It's so about the Malfoys.

Yes, where are those P/J tapes, Jade? I long for them.

[absolut-jmo.livejournal.com]

Good grief woman, that's just icky, and sad.
One of my first memories was when I was three and my dad brought home a basket of live crabs. One crawled out of the pot, and onto the floor. The cat was intrigued and approached it, but I was terrified the crab would eat the cat. I remembering picking up said kitty and running screaming out of the kitchen. Go figure.
Just goes to show you, the only good crab is one served to you by a waiter.

[sarea-okelani.livejournal.com]

OMG I thought you were going to say that it broke in half or something and there was this lame crab hobbling around your kitchen floor. Poor crab, you should have picked it up and run screaming out the door, as it was the only living creature in mortal danger at the time. <g>