Let's make Tuesday the new Friday

[sarea]

This will be my only concession to the holiday I loathe most (in fact, the only holiday I loathe), and only because it has to do with Game of Thrones:


My mom and I had a row this morning. Sigh. I just can't fucking stand it when people (read: family members) pick on me about what I choose to eat. This morning I fried up a thick slice of my homemade bacon to eat for the first time. I've really been looking forward to it. She looked at it and went, "You're going to eat something so fatty? Aren't you on a diet?" What does she expect me to do, go, "You're right" and throw it out after I just made it? All it does is make me feel bad about something I was looking forward to enjoying! Do I know that bacon has fat in it? I think I do. Do I know that it's probably not a great choice for my diet? Yes, I think I know that as well. I'm not a fucking IDIOT, which is what the implication is whenever someone says something about my food choices.

Members of my family all act like they know so much better, as if they have reserves of willpower, when that is not the case at all. My mom is always on me about eating bacon, or dessert, or whatever, but it's easy for her to say -- she doesn't even like those things! So of course it's easy for her to resist/not eat them! Last week I was making cookies after having had an apple for dinner, and she doesn't even like cookies, but the scent of them made her so hungry that she cooked instant noodles for herself (and I still ate nothing more than that apple!). And she's making pointed remarks to me about the fact that I am choosing to eat a slice of bacon in the morning?

I'm stressed out enough in the mornings -- and sadly, my mom in her current condition is even more irritating than normal, like insisting on using my Teflon-coated pot to steam food (requiring her to place a dish/bowl inside the pot itself) even though I've asked her not to, because once the Teflon is scratched I'll have to throw it away and get a new one) -- and that combined with my general dislike of being lectured about food made me blow up. And yeah, it was probably an overreaction on my part, but over the past couple of weeks (coupled with the time she was here before) alllllllll the little things that have been driving me crazy just built up to a point where this one thing made me lose it.

The worst thing is that she acts like such a victim. She started crying and was her usual dramatic self, going, "OK, I'm never saying anything again!" Ugh. So fucking over the top, making me feel guilty and like an evil, no-good person when imho she was the one in the wrong! It's none of her fucking business what I choose to eat. IT'S MY CHOICE. I can kill myself eating bacon if I want. I hate her fucking excuse of, "I only want what's good for you!" Because I've heard that ALL MY LIFE about EVERYTHING I've ever wanted, normal things like being able to sleep over at a friend's house, or go bicycling outside other than my own fucking driveway, etc. I wasn't even allowed to wear nail polish until I was 16!!!!!!!!! She's smothered me all my life based on wanting to "protect" me and it drove me fucking crazy then and it makes me crazy NOW because it is NOT HER LIFE, IT'S MINE.

I love my mom but I can't live with her. I did it for the first 17 years of my life and times like this I remember why I never want to again. She's just so meddlesome. My whole family is. And they all feel like they have the right to be, when they don't. Not as far as they take it.

And she fucking wonders why my blood pressure is so high?!

<deep breath> Onto calmer topics. The homemade bacon. I promised I'd write about how this turned out. The answer is: Not as great as I'd hoped. I think it is just as easy to make at home as I've read, but there are several things I'd change the next time I do it, and I think there are two things you need to have at home to achieve bacon that's like the kind you buy in the store: a meat slicer and a smoker. The former is more important than the latter. You just cannot hand slice bacon to be as thin as the kind you get in the store. It's impossible, at least for the normal home cook. In theory you can make tons of bacon and freeze it, so it's probably worth the investment if your household consumes a lot of it (elle_blessing, I'm looking at you). Other notes:

1) Next time I'm going to use an even easier method. The method I used required changing the dry cure every day and pouring off the liquid. The more common method seems to be to pour in all of the dry cure with the pork belly into a freezer bag. Seal it and let the juices and salt brine the belly, flipping it over every couple of days. Viola, at the end of a week you have cured bacon.

2) I chose not to use pink salt (sodium nitrite) because of the health concerns over nitrite (particularly when cooked over high heat, aka when you cook bacon). However, most store-bought bacon has sodium nitrite -- part of what it does is keep the bacon looking nice and red/pink. Next time I'm still determined not to use it.

3) I used coarse kosher salt, but I think this was too much. Next time I'll use smaller-sized salt crystals. My bacon came out waaaaaaay too salty. (This is easily fixed though, by boiling the bacon for 1 minute before frying, and blanching tends to make bacon crisp up better anyway.) But that might've also been the method I used to cure. With the freezer-bag method, that might not be an issue... though smaller crystals are easier to melt.

4) I don't want to have to buy a smoker, but I think this is partly what makes bacon so wonderful -- that smokiness. I'll have to make it again to really decide if one is necessary, but I think it's what gives bacon that distinctive flavor. I do have liquid smoke, so maybe I'll try using that first, though I have my doubts that it could really be as good as truly smoking the meat. It's certainly less of an investment, however.

So really, that's it. Different method next time, and use a meat slicer (I'll have to see if anyone has one I can borrow). Possibly add liquid smoke, or get a smoker. Or forget the whole thing because I don't eat that much bacon and buying it from Trader Joe's is just easier. They have one that doesn't contain nitrites.

I haven't done a meme in awhile, but this will help pass the day more quickly. Stolen from any number of people.

Name a character and I'll tell you my top 3 ships for them.

My fandoms:
- Harry Potter
- Merlin (BBC)
- Downton Abbey
- Misfits
- Roswell
- Alias
- The Vampire Diaries
- Mortal Instruments
- Lost
- Game of Thrones (specify TV or book series, so I don't spoil you accidentally)
- Friends
- Community
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Angel
- Firefly

I obviously watch many more shows/read more books than that, so you can also go off this list and if I'm familiar with the fandom I'll do my best to answer!

Speaking of books, I finished The Woman in Black. It was creepy, but not as much as I wanted, and I liked the style, but it was entirely predictable. Once one hint was given, I figured out the entire plot and all the details.

Comments

[ceilidh]

Ugh, my mother is the same way. She criticises everything I put in my mouth. This summer, when they helped us move out here, I was on this big kick of eating wrap sandwiches on whole-wheat tortillas. (and I don't like whole-wheat ANYTHING, so this was a big deal--they have like, an entire day's worth of fiber in them and are very satisfying.) She had an absolute fit over something else, I don't remember whether it was carbs or calories or what, and had a fit that I put a little ranch dressing on the sandwich. "I can't believe you're eating that, do you know how much ____ it has in it?" NO I DON'T KNOW OR CARE OKAY. JUST STOP.

Mothers. -_-

[sarea]

Ughghghghgh yes!!!!!!! Exactly like that! So annoying, unhelpful, and critical for NO REASON. I'm so glad other people can understand what it's like. Not, of course, that I'm glad people have issues with their mom, but you know, so I don't feel alone, lol.