LA trip (part 2)
Aug. 25th, 2016 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarea
If you haven't read part 1, you're reading this out of order!! Hie thee to the first post here.
As previously mentioned,adelagia wrote this, so it's from her POV. My additions are in bolded brackets [].
DAY 5: WHAT ARE ALL THESE MUGGLES DOING HERE ANYWAY?
HOGWARTS DAY. HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS. Sarea and I got on the 7:30am shuttle for early entry at 8:00. We followed the crowd, as one herd, towards a snow-kissed Hogsmeade, and entered the queue for the Forbidden Journey 3D ride inside Hogwarts. They had, near the entrance, several banks of lockers with little signage and fewer staff persons directing traffic; it was a giant scene of confusion. It turned out that each wall of lockers had a screen where you scanned your fingerprint to rent and open a locker, though we did not know this at the time when Sarea berated a child for claiming that she’d taken his locker. (She had. It was embarrassing. But the boy’s father was very nice about it.)
[It was pretty humiliating, but part of me feels defensive, too. I don't trust 12-year-old boys and the lies that can come out of their mouths. They might've been tricking me out of a locker! I wish I could apologize now, but oh well. Hopefully they understood.]
While waiting in line we got to see a bunch of cool Hogwarts stuff – the House point hourglasses, the entrance to Dumbledore’s office, moving portraits (including ones of the founders that talked to each other and Salazar Slytherin getting real uppity about Muggles), Dumbledore’s office, the Sorting Hat.
[We got there early enough that we bypassed most of the actual waiting... we basically walked through the line. In a major way, of course, that's great, because waiting sucks. But the one downside is that you do not get to experience/spend time with all the cool little things they have set up, because you don't want to hold everyone up behind you... thus, I missed a lot of stuff!]
The ride itself was kind of insane, but in an awesome way – it was a simulator that took you in and outside of Hogwarts, through the Forbidden Forest (where Aragog and kin spat venom at you; excuse you, sirs), across the Quidditch pitch, into a nest of Dementors and saved by Harry’s Patronus. It was incredibly cool. Short of attending actual Hogwarts, this was the next best thing and such a joyful experience for a nerd who’s still hoping her Hogwarts letter is due to come down the chimney any day now. Aaany day now.
Sarea did feel slightly queasy after it, though (it did warn that it might cause motion sickness), and we sat while waiting for Jade andropo, who had arrived to the park slightly after us and were making their way through the ride. While waiting, we perused the wares at Honeydukes, much of which were super cool to see in person, and occasionally surprising – did you know, for example, that Fizzing Whizbees are chocolate? We’d all imagined something more akin to Pop Rocks. There were also Chocolate Frogs, Exploding Bonbons, Jelly Slugs, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, Fudge Flies, and Sherbet Lemons.
Jade: "No wonder Harry spent all his money here."
And for all your perishable needs, they had a display case of various kinds of fudge (Sarea considered but eventually decided against getting the butterbeer fudge for her co-workers back home, because they’re not that important after all), pumpkin pasties (Sarea: "It’s just a turnover!"), and cauldron cakes (I appreciated the attention to detail here, as they had little chocolate feet).
David Harewood came in at one point, but apparently nobody but me knew who he was.
[I still don't know who he is. Someone told me at the time, but I have already forgotten.]
We also did the Flight of the Hippogriff ride, which was more of a kiddy roller coaster, but you got to see Hagrid’s hut, Buckbeak, and Sirius’s motorcycle, which three of us cooed over and Sarea did not recognize at all.
There was a wand cart nearby its exit, featuring replicas of each of the characters’ wands. There are two kinds of wands you can get at Universal: regular and interactive. The interactive ones, which of course cost more, could be used at various locations in Hogsmeade to cast spells (for example, outside Madame Malkin’s, you could make a measuring tape do its job, or you could Finite Incantatem a scribbling quill). Sirius’s wand drew Jade’s eye, while Sarea showed her true colors with her choice of a Death Eater wand with snake/skull motif.
The wand seller informed Sarea that if we went inside Ollivander’s proper, she could get an even bigger version of the wand she wanted, in addition to non-character-specific wands that could be more personalized to the witch or wizard in question with personality traits corresponding to the wood the wand was made of. So, in we went.
[The wand I got was an alder wood wand. Yes, I liked how it looked, and the fact that it was bigger than all the other wands. :D Here's what JKR -- I mean, Ollivander -- had to say about alder wood wands:
"Alder is an unyielding wood, yet I have discovered that its ideal owner is not stubborn or obstinate, but often helpful, considerate and most likeable. Whereas most wand woods seek similarity in the characters of those they will best serve, alder is unusual in that it seems to desire a nature that is, if not precisely opposite to its own, then certainly of a markedly different type. When an alder wand is happily placed, it becomes a magnificent, loyal helpmate. Of all wand types, alder is best suited to non-verbal spell work, whence comes its reputation for being suitable only for the most advanced witches and wizards."
HELPFUL, CONSIDERATE, AND MOST LIKEABLE -- I mean, truer words, right friends? Right?]
It was a bit of a zoo in there. Jade swished and flicked a couple of different wands, but went in the end with Sirius’s, and Sarea got her giant scary Death Eater wand.
Jade: "It’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it."
Sarea: "That’s what people with small wands always say."
[WELL THEY DO.]
Lunch was at the Three Broomsticks, where we had bangers and mash, fish and chips, roast chicken, and frozen butterbeer. The butterbeer was very sweet – normally I’m not a fan of overly sweet drinks, but this one was magically delicious. It somehow managed to stay icy and keep its pretty layers the whole time. LIKE MAGIC.
[Okay, I will agree that it was strangely magical how it was able to keep its butterbeer-like consistency throughout. But it was way too sweet for me and I could only drink a few sips of mine.
Also, I will say that I was disappointed the food did not just appear out of thin air.]
We carried on to the Owl Post, where they were selling puppet Hedwigs that made little owly noises (ADORABLE AF) and where everything was overpriced by about 150% of its actual worth. For example, a cute journal with a House logo embossed on the cover:
Adelagia: "[gasp] I must have it! Oh, it’s twenty dollars. [puts it back]"
You could also send Howlers for twenty dollars (i.e., you shout into one of those cards with a little recorder in it), but we had no one to yell at – at least, no one worth that much money. They sold sheets of Hogwarts stamps as well, as you could send post from Hogsmeade, but rather than it costing face value of forty-nine cents per stamp, a sheet of them cost $14.90. Pure, unadulterated madness.
[ropo suggested you could break up someone with a Howler. :)))) "AND ANOTHER THING--"]
Sarea wanted to cast another spell at an interactive wand site, but a small child in front of her was holding up the line, trying over and over again to make the spell work, to no avail. She was clearly a Squib, the poor thing.
Jade: "We should do the Simpsons ride next, and then the tram ride."
Lady, overhearing: "Oh, where is that?"
Jade: "Oh, I don’t know. I’m just saying it’s a signature attraction. I can’t help you. I can’t help you!"
We got in line instead for the Walking Dead ride, which was less of a ride than a walk-through exhibit. We weren’t in line for very long, though, before a staff member came out to say that something had gone wrong inside, and we could either wait or take a pass, go away, and come back an hour later. We chose to go away, to Springfield (Springfield, it’s a hell of a town).
We passed Phineas Q. Butterfat’s Ice Cream Parlor, Dr. Nick’s ("If you can put it in, we can take it out"), Lard Lad Donuts, Moe’s Tavern, King Toot’s, Duff Gardens – featuring statues of the Seven Duffs. I had to have my picture taken with my favorite, Remorseful.
[OK, really, does anyone actually remember Phineas Q. Butterfat from the show?! Because we had 3 people who were fairly well-versed in Simpsons material and none of us could recall him.]
Jade: "Do you want to go to the Kwik-E-Mart?"
Sarea: "[making beeline for Kwik-E-Mart] What kind of question is that? Do you want to go to the Kwik-E-Mart? [scoffs]"
Onward to Krustyland! Only to then get mired in a long line! While waiting, we got into discussion about what I had previously gone on record to say will be my strategy when the zombie apocalypse inevitably strikes: lie down and die.
Jade: "We’ll remember you. We’ll name something after you."
Sarea: "Adelagia Estates."
Jade: "Estates? It’s a post-apocalyptic world!"
Adelagia: "Adelagia Shanty Town."
Jade: "In Adelagia we trust."
Ropo: "In Adelagia we trusted."
After the Simpsons ride (another simulator which featured Sideshow Bob trying to kill us all and Homer quipping that everyone would be fine at the theme park "as long as you still have a dime in your pocket"), we returned to the Walking Dead walkthrough, bypassing all the other suckers in line with our fancy come-back-later pass.
It was set in Harrison Memorial Hospital, a scene of chaos and spilled guts. Everything seemed vaguely fine, apart from the blood and flickering lights and stuff, and Sarea expressed confusion at a couple of girls scurrying past us breathlessly. Which was about when the first zombie jumped out at us. And by us, I mean me. Naturally.
[It was hilarious. I'm sorry,adelagia, but it was. I didn't even know what was going on, because I was leading the pack and they had 'attacked' my friends behind me. Funny stuff. It wasn't so funny when they came after me, though. ropo pointed out that they very obviously weren't allowed to actually touch people, but that DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE when they came at me with arms outstretched. What a hard job that would be btw.]
We survived, and went on to do the studio tram tour, for which the line was eleventy thousand people long and directly under the sun for most of it. Mild crankiness all around. The ride itself was… well, it was nice to sit down for an hour. The rest of it was a mix of old and new – we all remembered special effects from our childhood that are still featured on the tour (the shark bursting out of the water, the flash flood, the earthquake) – and crap that no one really cared about (King Kong whaling on dinosaurs; Fast & Furious whatever number they’re on now; the houses on Wisteria Lane; mostly empty backlots).
Back to Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks for a little pick-me-up. Pumpkin juice, mainly, which we were all surprised to learn wasn’t just sugar water with pumpkin flavoring. It is apple juice, pumpkin puree, and apricot puree. It was also very sweet. Which was a shame, because we all liked the actual flavor of it, but not so much the overpowering sweetness.
Ropo took off soon after to get a nice nap in, and the rest of us shuttled back to the hotel, shed some belongings, and drove to 8oz Poke, to build our own poke bowls. Why doesn’t anything like this exist in Seattle? WHY?? Ugh, it was so delicious and affordable.
[It will be up to us. We'll put our poke bar next to our escape room, on the other side of our Salt & Straw location.]
Next stop: PanIQ Room. We attempted their Bunker challenge, where you’re a member of a terrorist organization who has to destroy some evidence of something or another – uh, the story is pretty much irrelevant. They have a rule of unlimited hints, but you have to wait 20 minutes before asking for one. Which is a reasonable rule, actually.
They had good puzzles and a few that you could do in parallel, so you didn’t have just one person doing something and everyone else standing around waiting for them to finish. There was a wire loop game where you have to move a metal hoop over a curved piece of metal without touching it; getting through this was my major contribution. The cool thing about most escape rooms is that they have lots of different kinds of puzzles that play to different strengths; for example, logic type games and math puzzles I don’t click with at all, but Sarea is awesome at them. In the Harry Potter room, we were given three Sudoku puzzles and as soon as I saw double digits my brain surrendered.
Anyway, we got about 75% through Bunker before time ran out (and presumably, we died). It had three separate rooms for us to puzzle through, which was mindboggling; we’d only entered the third with just enough time to look around and goggle at all that was left ahead of us. The last room was super creepy, painted all black with a single, naked lightbulb hanging above, exposed pipes, and a caged off crawlspace that we were all happy we didn’t have to get into.
The lady who debriefed us said that the success rate was anywhere between 22-50%, and she’d never had anyone finish without using hints before. She also said we did well for a 3-person group; she was of the opinion that while 3 people could do it, it was best done with 4.
Jade asked her what other good escape rooms were in the area, and she mentioned MagIQ Room, a sister site that had more fantasy-themed rooms. And our collective gasp was heard around the world.
Next to Priscilla’s Tacos, a taco truck. We ate our tacos on the back of Ropo’s car, as there were no chairs.
DAY 6: WAIT, HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE IN KOREA?
Square Room Escape, Round 2! We picked Jade up at her house and went on our way to Irvine, running into, as usual, much traffic.
Changing lanes…
Sarea: "I hope this isn’t a 4-person carpool lane…"
Jade: "Well, you can do it with 3, but it’s optimized for 4."
En route, we discussed what the theme or story would be if ever we were to design our own escape room.
Sarea: "You’re an overbearing mother, and you have to find your teenage daughter’s diary."
Jade: "She has a boyfriend who’s 5 years older than her! And they’re going to have sex tonight. You have to find out where!"
[Also, "You have to find your son's pot! It's a gateway drug that will lead to heroin!"]
We did the Phantom Soldier room this time at Square Room, on the last day of their beta testing, which meant that we got in for half price with the caveat that things might go wrong, as the room was almost but not quite ready for facing the general public. This also meant that things did go wrong, and a staff member had to come in and frown at the thing that had gone wrong, then do that part of the puzzle for us.
At one point we got so stuck and confused, we had to ask for hints about every three minutes. The staff guy who helped us came in so quickly each time we think he was just hovering outside the door, secretly thinking we were idiots and waiting for us to radio him for the fourteenth time.
Time ran out on us again, but they let us finish up, since we were actually really close this time (unlike the Harry Potter time), and with an extra five minutes we got done. Even though we didn’t quite win, we were definitely improving on previous tries. The story for this one was also cool – you’re John Smith and your mission is to destroy a terrorist group, headed by their big boss, who’s gone missing (hence, Phantom Soldier), and the plot twist at the end was really great.
To lunch at Ritter’s Steam Kettle Cooking, as recommended by one of Sarea’s cousins, and what a solid recommendation it was. Jade and Sarea both had the Ritter’s Famous House Pan Roast (with all sorts of seafood in) and fried pickles, and I had a fried oyster half po’ boy and fried okra.
[I also very much enjoyed this meal. This was definitely one of those times I wished I could have taken and enjoyed leftovers.]
We rolled ourselves out of there and headed to Knott’s Berry Farm. Its major draw was being cheap ($40 as compared to Universal’s $100, and let’s not even talk Disney’s wallet-gouging), as well as a happy medium between the few to no rides at Universal and the insane rollercoasters at Magic Mountain.
Parking was somewhat bewildering; their arrows were all crooked and pointing in haphazard directions, which was probably why they had a parking attendant motioning cars to the correct place. Sarea ignored him and ended up in Marketplace parking instead, so we had to loop around and around and back to where the attendant was standing in the first place. As Jade predicted, he looked rather smug about it.
During the looping round, we chatted about the new Gilmore Girls, which Sarea and I are not going to watch until we find out who Rory ends up with (the correct and only possible answer is Logan – do not fight me on this). Jade doesn’t care, as her OTP is Luke/Lorelai, and it’s pretty obvious where they’re headed.
Our first ride was the Bigfoot Rapids, a water ride where you’re bumped and jostled in an inner tube type seat and splashed at every turn. The two guys who were in the tube with us got it the worst, haha.
At Knott’s they rate their rides into five thrill factors: low, mild, moderate, high, and aggressive. We headed to the Calico Mine Ride, listed as a moderate thrill ("Descend into the dark depths of Knott's very own gold mine and see the infamous Calico Glory Hole"). We shared a mining cart with a family of three kids. One of the boys told us that he’d ridden this one before and that it was really lame because it’s so slow. He was absolutely on the nose; the ride was boring af. Obviously it hadn’t been updated since animatronic humanoids doing back-and-forth motions were the height of live entertainment.
However, another of the boys in the cart, about 8 years old maybe, was completely freaked out by the whole thing: "Are we going to die in here?" Towards the end of it, he just covered his eyes to make it through.
After this snorefest, we vowed to go with only 4s or 5s on the thrill scale, and made our way to the Timber Mountain Log Ride, a log flume ride that the camera at the plummet caught me feeling very happy about. While waiting in line, the family from the mine ride turned up in the queue as well. The first kid: "Hello, nice to see you again."
Onward to the Boomerang, a loopy roller coaster that goes forwards and backwards. I only realized this when far enough in line to see it retracing its route; I’m not a fan of going backwards on regular vehicles, much less on a roller coaster. It gave me a headache.
And then to the Xcelerator, which goes from 0 to, like, a million mph in a second. Coming off this on the heels of the Boomerang did unpleasant things to my vestibular system, and I had to (shamefully) throw in the towel after this. Sarea felt the same, though she didn’t want to say so for fear of being a party pooper, so she was happy I took it for the team. I think – or this might be my residual love for roller coasters talking – that if we had gone on some regular ones (you know, the ones that go forward and loop and plummet at non-sonic speeds), it would’ve been okay.
I just want to ride fast things without feeling sick. Stupid aging body.
[I was really bummed about how lame Knott's was. Once upon a time, its hokey-ness would have been charming, and our poor old bodies would have been young, nubile bodies that would not have felt the impact of the jarring roller coaster. Or we would have, but it would have been something we could shrug off instead of making us unable to go on.]
Sarea and Jade enjoyed some churros while I slumped on a bench and then wandered into a candy store hoping for some sour hard candies to take my mouth’s mind off being sick. Sarea and Jade also bought some fruity gummies in a fit of nostalgia, which were, of course, overpriced.
["Enjoyed" is a strong word for those churros. "Ate" is more accurate. They were OK. Not like the churros from Disneyland of my childhood. Next time we should probably just suck up the cost and go there. Sigh.]
Jade wanted to pick up a little Snoopy-based memento for her mother, so we trekked to Snoopy Headquarters. It was here that I was able to unload my (limited) Peanuts-based knowledge on Sarea, who was suitably impressed that I knew the answer to "is there a girl Snoopy?" (It’s his sister, Belle.) At a frame stand where you could put letters together to spell out your name with characters, she was disgusted with the character for the first letter in her name: "What is this? A fat Snoopy??" (It’s Snoopy’s brother, Olaf. Snoopy has several other brothers as well: Spike, Marbles, and Andy, who another girl in the store called "Blond Snoopy". Oh, the uneducated masses.)
["Limited" my ass. She was a virtual cornucopia of knowledge about Snoopy's entire family tree.]
While Jade got a haul of a plush Snoopy/Woodstock combo, socks, and sunglasses, Sarea did end up getting a plush Olaf (or as she insists on calling him, Fat Snoopy) and socks. We were all pleasantly surprised at the fairly reasonable prices for the souvenirs, though Sarea told Jade to shush about it, lest they overhear us and jack up all the prices.
[WELL, HONESTLY.]
After dropping Jade off back at home, Sarea and I continued on to Salt & Straw for dinner. We’re adults! We can do whatever we want! And so could, apparently, the thirty other adults forming the line in front of the store.
[Let's not fool ourselves. Most of those people had likely actually had a real dinner before going to S&S for dessert. We were the only ones there having it for dinner.]
Behind us, a man and woman were having the most awkward first date ever. First of all, who arranges a first date at 9:30 at night? She seemed fine and normal, he seemed a bit of a douche. At one point, they were trying to talk about the Korean population in LA, both of them throwing out numbers from god knows where: "Is it 10 million?" They also disagreed on how awesome it was that she was thirty years old but still kept getting invited to college parties (him: "No, that sounds great! You can drink and play beer pong!") and on traffic in LA:
Him: "I’m just saying, if traffic is that bad that somebody better have had an accident."
Her: "Okay… that’s kind of terrible."
Him: "You know you feel that way too."
Her: "… No, I don’t."
Him: "Yes, you do."
We really, really hope she didn’t give him a second date.
[He was such a fucking douchecanoe.]
Finally, it was our turn for the holy grail of ice-creams. Sarea tried the strawberry tomato water sherbet (I didn’t like it), but went with her usual sea salt/caramel. I sampled the avocado/hazelnut sorbet and the black olive brittle/goat cheese – the latter, surprisingly amazeballs. Weirdly sweet and savory and crunchety good. I’d found my new favorite! In a cruel twist of fate, they don’t have this flavor in Portland, so if we ever go back to Portland, while I could get olive oil, I still can’t get the goat cheese. A thousand sighs.
DAY 7: THAT’S NOT A BUTTON, THAT’S A KNOB
Breakfast was at a different branch of Le Pain Quotidien after a scenic drive through the mansions of Beverly Hills (we didn’t intend for this to happen, but Sarea’s GPS app, to help us avoid the worst of traffic, took us through the rich neighborhoods).
Jade had the ham/gruyere croissant that we had last time and I had a crispy quinoa cake; we both got jasmine tea. Sarea had an oven baked chicken and mozzarella tartine and the watermelon cooler she’d wanted the first time, but it turned out a sour disappointment. She and Jade shared a Belgian waffle.
Service was the slowest ever. We finished eating with 30 minutes to spare on our parking meter, and it took the waiter that long to bring us our check and run our cards; by the time we got back to the car we had one minute left on it.
Our final adventure (or mine, anyway, since Sarea was sticking around for an extra week and doing a SUPER COOL Harry Potter scavenger hunt at the Getty with Jade and Ropo the day after I left) was at MagIQ Room. Naturally, we chose their wizard-themed room. We were wizards whose wands and powers had been stolen by a wicked elf and we had to puzzle our way out and get our wands back.
The lovely young lady who received us had a strong Eastern European accent (Hungarian, perhaps, given that she later told us that all the props and puzzles in the room were from Hungary, and the initial rooms were designed by a Hungarian game designer), which did us no favors when she gave us hints during the game and we got really confused by her calling a puzzle a map and a white knob a button.
This might have been my favorite of the escape rooms, possibly because I clicked with more of the puzzles here than in any of the others. And there was a room hidden behind a wardrobe, so all our yearnings to go to Narnia were sated for the time being. It also helped that we did build on our last experiences and knew better what to do with certain things (except the belt/stick trick, which was infuriatingly cool), and that we could do several different things in tandem. The bummer part about that is that not everyone gets to experience each puzzle, so there were big pieces of it that we had to fill each other in on afterwards.
[Interesting. My favorite was either the first one or Bunker. Also, it's pretty amazing how we all equally got into the escape rooms. If even one of us had been less enthused than the others, we probably would have only done that first escape room and that's it, instead of THREE MORE.]
We made it out in 64 minutes. SO CLOSE! It’s possible we could’ve done it within the time limit had we been able to understand the gamemaster’s hints more clearly and if we had gone more with our guts with regard to trying seemingly outlandish things to solve puzzles. It would’ve been nice to have a clean win on our final one, darn it!
One last stop at Salt & Straw. Sarea got the olive brittle/goat cheese this time, though she regretted it, as it was a little too intense as a whole scoop. I also got it, though I did waver when I sampled their honey lavender and salted chocolate chip cookie dough, both fantastic. I still loved the olive brittle/goat cheese, but I did slightly regret not getting the cookie dough, as they don’t have that one in Portland either. UGH. Jade almost got honey lavender, but at the last minute, the guy told her that the strawberry tomato water was amazing, and on sampling it, she decided to go for it, along with chocolate gooey brownie.
Finally, sadly, inevitably, I had to head to the airport and come home. Sarea stayed on and I assume continued to have crazy adventures. Good times.
[You're not wrong. Unfortunately I am not as diligent as you, and who knows when that post will be up?
As previously mentioned,
adelagia wrote this, so it's from her POV. My additions are in bolded brackets [].DAY 5: WHAT ARE ALL THESE MUGGLES DOING HERE ANYWAY?
HOGWARTS DAY. HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS. Sarea and I got on the 7:30am shuttle for early entry at 8:00. We followed the crowd, as one herd, towards a snow-kissed Hogsmeade, and entered the queue for the Forbidden Journey 3D ride inside Hogwarts. They had, near the entrance, several banks of lockers with little signage and fewer staff persons directing traffic; it was a giant scene of confusion. It turned out that each wall of lockers had a screen where you scanned your fingerprint to rent and open a locker, though we did not know this at the time when Sarea berated a child for claiming that she’d taken his locker. (She had. It was embarrassing. But the boy’s father was very nice about it.)
[It was pretty humiliating, but part of me feels defensive, too. I don't trust 12-year-old boys and the lies that can come out of their mouths. They might've been tricking me out of a locker! I wish I could apologize now, but oh well. Hopefully they understood.]
While waiting in line we got to see a bunch of cool Hogwarts stuff – the House point hourglasses, the entrance to Dumbledore’s office, moving portraits (including ones of the founders that talked to each other and Salazar Slytherin getting real uppity about Muggles), Dumbledore’s office, the Sorting Hat.
[We got there early enough that we bypassed most of the actual waiting... we basically walked through the line. In a major way, of course, that's great, because waiting sucks. But the one downside is that you do not get to experience/spend time with all the cool little things they have set up, because you don't want to hold everyone up behind you... thus, I missed a lot of stuff!]
The ride itself was kind of insane, but in an awesome way – it was a simulator that took you in and outside of Hogwarts, through the Forbidden Forest (where Aragog and kin spat venom at you; excuse you, sirs), across the Quidditch pitch, into a nest of Dementors and saved by Harry’s Patronus. It was incredibly cool. Short of attending actual Hogwarts, this was the next best thing and such a joyful experience for a nerd who’s still hoping her Hogwarts letter is due to come down the chimney any day now. Aaany day now.
Sarea did feel slightly queasy after it, though (it did warn that it might cause motion sickness), and we sat while waiting for Jade and
ropo, who had arrived to the park slightly after us and were making their way through the ride. While waiting, we perused the wares at Honeydukes, much of which were super cool to see in person, and occasionally surprising – did you know, for example, that Fizzing Whizbees are chocolate? We’d all imagined something more akin to Pop Rocks. There were also Chocolate Frogs, Exploding Bonbons, Jelly Slugs, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, Fudge Flies, and Sherbet Lemons. 
Jade: "No wonder Harry spent all his money here."
And for all your perishable needs, they had a display case of various kinds of fudge (Sarea considered but eventually decided against getting the butterbeer fudge for her co-workers back home, because they’re not that important after all), pumpkin pasties (Sarea: "It’s just a turnover!"), and cauldron cakes (I appreciated the attention to detail here, as they had little chocolate feet).
David Harewood came in at one point, but apparently nobody but me knew who he was.
[I still don't know who he is. Someone told me at the time, but I have already forgotten.]
We also did the Flight of the Hippogriff ride, which was more of a kiddy roller coaster, but you got to see Hagrid’s hut, Buckbeak, and Sirius’s motorcycle, which three of us cooed over and Sarea did not recognize at all.
There was a wand cart nearby its exit, featuring replicas of each of the characters’ wands. There are two kinds of wands you can get at Universal: regular and interactive. The interactive ones, which of course cost more, could be used at various locations in Hogsmeade to cast spells (for example, outside Madame Malkin’s, you could make a measuring tape do its job, or you could Finite Incantatem a scribbling quill). Sirius’s wand drew Jade’s eye, while Sarea showed her true colors with her choice of a Death Eater wand with snake/skull motif.
The wand seller informed Sarea that if we went inside Ollivander’s proper, she could get an even bigger version of the wand she wanted, in addition to non-character-specific wands that could be more personalized to the witch or wizard in question with personality traits corresponding to the wood the wand was made of. So, in we went.
[The wand I got was an alder wood wand. Yes, I liked how it looked, and the fact that it was bigger than all the other wands. :D Here's what JKR -- I mean, Ollivander -- had to say about alder wood wands:
"Alder is an unyielding wood, yet I have discovered that its ideal owner is not stubborn or obstinate, but often helpful, considerate and most likeable. Whereas most wand woods seek similarity in the characters of those they will best serve, alder is unusual in that it seems to desire a nature that is, if not precisely opposite to its own, then certainly of a markedly different type. When an alder wand is happily placed, it becomes a magnificent, loyal helpmate. Of all wand types, alder is best suited to non-verbal spell work, whence comes its reputation for being suitable only for the most advanced witches and wizards."
HELPFUL, CONSIDERATE, AND MOST LIKEABLE -- I mean, truer words, right friends? Right?]
It was a bit of a zoo in there. Jade swished and flicked a couple of different wands, but went in the end with Sirius’s, and Sarea got her giant scary Death Eater wand.
Jade: "It’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it."
Sarea: "That’s what people with small wands always say."
[WELL THEY DO.]
Lunch was at the Three Broomsticks, where we had bangers and mash, fish and chips, roast chicken, and frozen butterbeer. The butterbeer was very sweet – normally I’m not a fan of overly sweet drinks, but this one was magically delicious. It somehow managed to stay icy and keep its pretty layers the whole time. LIKE MAGIC.
[Okay, I will agree that it was strangely magical how it was able to keep its butterbeer-like consistency throughout. But it was way too sweet for me and I could only drink a few sips of mine.
Also, I will say that I was disappointed the food did not just appear out of thin air.]
We carried on to the Owl Post, where they were selling puppet Hedwigs that made little owly noises (ADORABLE AF) and where everything was overpriced by about 150% of its actual worth. For example, a cute journal with a House logo embossed on the cover:
Adelagia: "[gasp] I must have it! Oh, it’s twenty dollars. [puts it back]"
You could also send Howlers for twenty dollars (i.e., you shout into one of those cards with a little recorder in it), but we had no one to yell at – at least, no one worth that much money. They sold sheets of Hogwarts stamps as well, as you could send post from Hogsmeade, but rather than it costing face value of forty-nine cents per stamp, a sheet of them cost $14.90. Pure, unadulterated madness.
[
ropo suggested you could break up someone with a Howler. :)))) "AND ANOTHER THING--"]Sarea wanted to cast another spell at an interactive wand site, but a small child in front of her was holding up the line, trying over and over again to make the spell work, to no avail. She was clearly a Squib, the poor thing.
Jade: "We should do the Simpsons ride next, and then the tram ride."
Lady, overhearing: "Oh, where is that?"
Jade: "Oh, I don’t know. I’m just saying it’s a signature attraction. I can’t help you. I can’t help you!"
We got in line instead for the Walking Dead ride, which was less of a ride than a walk-through exhibit. We weren’t in line for very long, though, before a staff member came out to say that something had gone wrong inside, and we could either wait or take a pass, go away, and come back an hour later. We chose to go away, to Springfield (Springfield, it’s a hell of a town).
We passed Phineas Q. Butterfat’s Ice Cream Parlor, Dr. Nick’s ("If you can put it in, we can take it out"), Lard Lad Donuts, Moe’s Tavern, King Toot’s, Duff Gardens – featuring statues of the Seven Duffs. I had to have my picture taken with my favorite, Remorseful.
[OK, really, does anyone actually remember Phineas Q. Butterfat from the show?! Because we had 3 people who were fairly well-versed in Simpsons material and none of us could recall him.]
Jade: "Do you want to go to the Kwik-E-Mart?"
Sarea: "[making beeline for Kwik-E-Mart] What kind of question is that? Do you want to go to the Kwik-E-Mart? [scoffs]"
Onward to Krustyland! Only to then get mired in a long line! While waiting, we got into discussion about what I had previously gone on record to say will be my strategy when the zombie apocalypse inevitably strikes: lie down and die.
Jade: "We’ll remember you. We’ll name something after you."
Sarea: "Adelagia Estates."
Jade: "Estates? It’s a post-apocalyptic world!"
Adelagia: "Adelagia Shanty Town."
Jade: "In Adelagia we trust."
Ropo: "In Adelagia we trusted."
After the Simpsons ride (another simulator which featured Sideshow Bob trying to kill us all and Homer quipping that everyone would be fine at the theme park "as long as you still have a dime in your pocket"), we returned to the Walking Dead walkthrough, bypassing all the other suckers in line with our fancy come-back-later pass.
It was set in Harrison Memorial Hospital, a scene of chaos and spilled guts. Everything seemed vaguely fine, apart from the blood and flickering lights and stuff, and Sarea expressed confusion at a couple of girls scurrying past us breathlessly. Which was about when the first zombie jumped out at us. And by us, I mean me. Naturally.
[It was hilarious. I'm sorry,
adelagia, but it was. I didn't even know what was going on, because I was leading the pack and they had 'attacked' my friends behind me. Funny stuff. It wasn't so funny when they came after me, though. ropo pointed out that they very obviously weren't allowed to actually touch people, but that DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE when they came at me with arms outstretched. What a hard job that would be btw.]We survived, and went on to do the studio tram tour, for which the line was eleventy thousand people long and directly under the sun for most of it. Mild crankiness all around. The ride itself was… well, it was nice to sit down for an hour. The rest of it was a mix of old and new – we all remembered special effects from our childhood that are still featured on the tour (the shark bursting out of the water, the flash flood, the earthquake) – and crap that no one really cared about (King Kong whaling on dinosaurs; Fast & Furious whatever number they’re on now; the houses on Wisteria Lane; mostly empty backlots).
Back to Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks for a little pick-me-up. Pumpkin juice, mainly, which we were all surprised to learn wasn’t just sugar water with pumpkin flavoring. It is apple juice, pumpkin puree, and apricot puree. It was also very sweet. Which was a shame, because we all liked the actual flavor of it, but not so much the overpowering sweetness.
Ropo took off soon after to get a nice nap in, and the rest of us shuttled back to the hotel, shed some belongings, and drove to 8oz Poke, to build our own poke bowls. Why doesn’t anything like this exist in Seattle? WHY?? Ugh, it was so delicious and affordable.
[It will be up to us. We'll put our poke bar next to our escape room, on the other side of our Salt & Straw location.]
Next stop: PanIQ Room. We attempted their Bunker challenge, where you’re a member of a terrorist organization who has to destroy some evidence of something or another – uh, the story is pretty much irrelevant. They have a rule of unlimited hints, but you have to wait 20 minutes before asking for one. Which is a reasonable rule, actually.
They had good puzzles and a few that you could do in parallel, so you didn’t have just one person doing something and everyone else standing around waiting for them to finish. There was a wire loop game where you have to move a metal hoop over a curved piece of metal without touching it; getting through this was my major contribution. The cool thing about most escape rooms is that they have lots of different kinds of puzzles that play to different strengths; for example, logic type games and math puzzles I don’t click with at all, but Sarea is awesome at them. In the Harry Potter room, we were given three Sudoku puzzles and as soon as I saw double digits my brain surrendered.
Anyway, we got about 75% through Bunker before time ran out (and presumably, we died). It had three separate rooms for us to puzzle through, which was mindboggling; we’d only entered the third with just enough time to look around and goggle at all that was left ahead of us. The last room was super creepy, painted all black with a single, naked lightbulb hanging above, exposed pipes, and a caged off crawlspace that we were all happy we didn’t have to get into.
The lady who debriefed us said that the success rate was anywhere between 22-50%, and she’d never had anyone finish without using hints before. She also said we did well for a 3-person group; she was of the opinion that while 3 people could do it, it was best done with 4.
Jade asked her what other good escape rooms were in the area, and she mentioned MagIQ Room, a sister site that had more fantasy-themed rooms. And our collective gasp was heard around the world.
Next to Priscilla’s Tacos, a taco truck. We ate our tacos on the back of Ropo’s car, as there were no chairs.
DAY 6: WAIT, HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE IN KOREA?
Square Room Escape, Round 2! We picked Jade up at her house and went on our way to Irvine, running into, as usual, much traffic.
Changing lanes…
Sarea: "I hope this isn’t a 4-person carpool lane…"
Jade: "Well, you can do it with 3, but it’s optimized for 4."
En route, we discussed what the theme or story would be if ever we were to design our own escape room.
Sarea: "You’re an overbearing mother, and you have to find your teenage daughter’s diary."
Jade: "She has a boyfriend who’s 5 years older than her! And they’re going to have sex tonight. You have to find out where!"
[Also, "You have to find your son's pot! It's a gateway drug that will lead to heroin!"]
We did the Phantom Soldier room this time at Square Room, on the last day of their beta testing, which meant that we got in for half price with the caveat that things might go wrong, as the room was almost but not quite ready for facing the general public. This also meant that things did go wrong, and a staff member had to come in and frown at the thing that had gone wrong, then do that part of the puzzle for us.
At one point we got so stuck and confused, we had to ask for hints about every three minutes. The staff guy who helped us came in so quickly each time we think he was just hovering outside the door, secretly thinking we were idiots and waiting for us to radio him for the fourteenth time.
Time ran out on us again, but they let us finish up, since we were actually really close this time (unlike the Harry Potter time), and with an extra five minutes we got done. Even though we didn’t quite win, we were definitely improving on previous tries. The story for this one was also cool – you’re John Smith and your mission is to destroy a terrorist group, headed by their big boss, who’s gone missing (hence, Phantom Soldier), and the plot twist at the end was really great.
To lunch at Ritter’s Steam Kettle Cooking, as recommended by one of Sarea’s cousins, and what a solid recommendation it was. Jade and Sarea both had the Ritter’s Famous House Pan Roast (with all sorts of seafood in) and fried pickles, and I had a fried oyster half po’ boy and fried okra.
[I also very much enjoyed this meal. This was definitely one of those times I wished I could have taken and enjoyed leftovers.]
We rolled ourselves out of there and headed to Knott’s Berry Farm. Its major draw was being cheap ($40 as compared to Universal’s $100, and let’s not even talk Disney’s wallet-gouging), as well as a happy medium between the few to no rides at Universal and the insane rollercoasters at Magic Mountain.
Parking was somewhat bewildering; their arrows were all crooked and pointing in haphazard directions, which was probably why they had a parking attendant motioning cars to the correct place. Sarea ignored him and ended up in Marketplace parking instead, so we had to loop around and around and back to where the attendant was standing in the first place. As Jade predicted, he looked rather smug about it.
During the looping round, we chatted about the new Gilmore Girls, which Sarea and I are not going to watch until we find out who Rory ends up with (the correct and only possible answer is Logan – do not fight me on this). Jade doesn’t care, as her OTP is Luke/Lorelai, and it’s pretty obvious where they’re headed.
Our first ride was the Bigfoot Rapids, a water ride where you’re bumped and jostled in an inner tube type seat and splashed at every turn. The two guys who were in the tube with us got it the worst, haha.
At Knott’s they rate their rides into five thrill factors: low, mild, moderate, high, and aggressive. We headed to the Calico Mine Ride, listed as a moderate thrill ("Descend into the dark depths of Knott's very own gold mine and see the infamous Calico Glory Hole"). We shared a mining cart with a family of three kids. One of the boys told us that he’d ridden this one before and that it was really lame because it’s so slow. He was absolutely on the nose; the ride was boring af. Obviously it hadn’t been updated since animatronic humanoids doing back-and-forth motions were the height of live entertainment.
However, another of the boys in the cart, about 8 years old maybe, was completely freaked out by the whole thing: "Are we going to die in here?" Towards the end of it, he just covered his eyes to make it through.
After this snorefest, we vowed to go with only 4s or 5s on the thrill scale, and made our way to the Timber Mountain Log Ride, a log flume ride that the camera at the plummet caught me feeling very happy about. While waiting in line, the family from the mine ride turned up in the queue as well. The first kid: "Hello, nice to see you again."
Onward to the Boomerang, a loopy roller coaster that goes forwards and backwards. I only realized this when far enough in line to see it retracing its route; I’m not a fan of going backwards on regular vehicles, much less on a roller coaster. It gave me a headache.
And then to the Xcelerator, which goes from 0 to, like, a million mph in a second. Coming off this on the heels of the Boomerang did unpleasant things to my vestibular system, and I had to (shamefully) throw in the towel after this. Sarea felt the same, though she didn’t want to say so for fear of being a party pooper, so she was happy I took it for the team. I think – or this might be my residual love for roller coasters talking – that if we had gone on some regular ones (you know, the ones that go forward and loop and plummet at non-sonic speeds), it would’ve been okay.
I just want to ride fast things without feeling sick. Stupid aging body.
[I was really bummed about how lame Knott's was. Once upon a time, its hokey-ness would have been charming, and our poor old bodies would have been young, nubile bodies that would not have felt the impact of the jarring roller coaster. Or we would have, but it would have been something we could shrug off instead of making us unable to go on.]
Sarea and Jade enjoyed some churros while I slumped on a bench and then wandered into a candy store hoping for some sour hard candies to take my mouth’s mind off being sick. Sarea and Jade also bought some fruity gummies in a fit of nostalgia, which were, of course, overpriced.
["Enjoyed" is a strong word for those churros. "Ate" is more accurate. They were OK. Not like the churros from Disneyland of my childhood. Next time we should probably just suck up the cost and go there. Sigh.]
Jade wanted to pick up a little Snoopy-based memento for her mother, so we trekked to Snoopy Headquarters. It was here that I was able to unload my (limited) Peanuts-based knowledge on Sarea, who was suitably impressed that I knew the answer to "is there a girl Snoopy?" (It’s his sister, Belle.) At a frame stand where you could put letters together to spell out your name with characters, she was disgusted with the character for the first letter in her name: "What is this? A fat Snoopy??" (It’s Snoopy’s brother, Olaf. Snoopy has several other brothers as well: Spike, Marbles, and Andy, who another girl in the store called "Blond Snoopy". Oh, the uneducated masses.)
["Limited" my ass. She was a virtual cornucopia of knowledge about Snoopy's entire family tree.]
While Jade got a haul of a plush Snoopy/Woodstock combo, socks, and sunglasses, Sarea did end up getting a plush Olaf (or as she insists on calling him, Fat Snoopy) and socks. We were all pleasantly surprised at the fairly reasonable prices for the souvenirs, though Sarea told Jade to shush about it, lest they overhear us and jack up all the prices.
[WELL, HONESTLY.]
After dropping Jade off back at home, Sarea and I continued on to Salt & Straw for dinner. We’re adults! We can do whatever we want! And so could, apparently, the thirty other adults forming the line in front of the store.
[Let's not fool ourselves. Most of those people had likely actually had a real dinner before going to S&S for dessert. We were the only ones there having it for dinner.]
Behind us, a man and woman were having the most awkward first date ever. First of all, who arranges a first date at 9:30 at night? She seemed fine and normal, he seemed a bit of a douche. At one point, they were trying to talk about the Korean population in LA, both of them throwing out numbers from god knows where: "Is it 10 million?" They also disagreed on how awesome it was that she was thirty years old but still kept getting invited to college parties (him: "No, that sounds great! You can drink and play beer pong!") and on traffic in LA:
Him: "I’m just saying, if traffic is that bad that somebody better have had an accident."
Her: "Okay… that’s kind of terrible."
Him: "You know you feel that way too."
Her: "… No, I don’t."
Him: "Yes, you do."
We really, really hope she didn’t give him a second date.
[He was such a fucking douchecanoe.]
Finally, it was our turn for the holy grail of ice-creams. Sarea tried the strawberry tomato water sherbet (I didn’t like it), but went with her usual sea salt/caramel. I sampled the avocado/hazelnut sorbet and the black olive brittle/goat cheese – the latter, surprisingly amazeballs. Weirdly sweet and savory and crunchety good. I’d found my new favorite! In a cruel twist of fate, they don’t have this flavor in Portland, so if we ever go back to Portland, while I could get olive oil, I still can’t get the goat cheese. A thousand sighs.
DAY 7: THAT’S NOT A BUTTON, THAT’S A KNOB
Breakfast was at a different branch of Le Pain Quotidien after a scenic drive through the mansions of Beverly Hills (we didn’t intend for this to happen, but Sarea’s GPS app, to help us avoid the worst of traffic, took us through the rich neighborhoods).
Jade had the ham/gruyere croissant that we had last time and I had a crispy quinoa cake; we both got jasmine tea. Sarea had an oven baked chicken and mozzarella tartine and the watermelon cooler she’d wanted the first time, but it turned out a sour disappointment. She and Jade shared a Belgian waffle.
Service was the slowest ever. We finished eating with 30 minutes to spare on our parking meter, and it took the waiter that long to bring us our check and run our cards; by the time we got back to the car we had one minute left on it.
Our final adventure (or mine, anyway, since Sarea was sticking around for an extra week and doing a SUPER COOL Harry Potter scavenger hunt at the Getty with Jade and Ropo the day after I left) was at MagIQ Room. Naturally, we chose their wizard-themed room. We were wizards whose wands and powers had been stolen by a wicked elf and we had to puzzle our way out and get our wands back.
The lovely young lady who received us had a strong Eastern European accent (Hungarian, perhaps, given that she later told us that all the props and puzzles in the room were from Hungary, and the initial rooms were designed by a Hungarian game designer), which did us no favors when she gave us hints during the game and we got really confused by her calling a puzzle a map and a white knob a button.
This might have been my favorite of the escape rooms, possibly because I clicked with more of the puzzles here than in any of the others. And there was a room hidden behind a wardrobe, so all our yearnings to go to Narnia were sated for the time being. It also helped that we did build on our last experiences and knew better what to do with certain things (except the belt/stick trick, which was infuriatingly cool), and that we could do several different things in tandem. The bummer part about that is that not everyone gets to experience each puzzle, so there were big pieces of it that we had to fill each other in on afterwards.
[Interesting. My favorite was either the first one or Bunker. Also, it's pretty amazing how we all equally got into the escape rooms. If even one of us had been less enthused than the others, we probably would have only done that first escape room and that's it, instead of THREE MORE.]
We made it out in 64 minutes. SO CLOSE! It’s possible we could’ve done it within the time limit had we been able to understand the gamemaster’s hints more clearly and if we had gone more with our guts with regard to trying seemingly outlandish things to solve puzzles. It would’ve been nice to have a clean win on our final one, darn it!
One last stop at Salt & Straw. Sarea got the olive brittle/goat cheese this time, though she regretted it, as it was a little too intense as a whole scoop. I also got it, though I did waver when I sampled their honey lavender and salted chocolate chip cookie dough, both fantastic. I still loved the olive brittle/goat cheese, but I did slightly regret not getting the cookie dough, as they don’t have that one in Portland either. UGH. Jade almost got honey lavender, but at the last minute, the guy told her that the strawberry tomato water was amazing, and on sampling it, she decided to go for it, along with chocolate gooey brownie.
Finally, sadly, inevitably, I had to head to the airport and come home. Sarea stayed on and I assume continued to have crazy adventures. Good times.
[You're not wrong. Unfortunately I am not as diligent as you, and who knows when that post will be up?
