Drabble! For real!
Sep. 22nd, 2003 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarea
This is a bit of drabble (yes, real drabble!) that I found on my hard drive while clearing out some of my files. I wrote it for Jade one night to cheer her up. It's incredibly silly. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Coming Home
Remus Lupin was really, really lonely. "Oh where is my Severus Poo," he bemoaned. "I miss him so."
Suddenly the door slammed open, and a tall, dark figure stood menacingly in the doorway.
"God?" Lupin asked. Fear and hope blossomed in his chest. Since Sirius had died, part of him had wanted to pass beyond the veil, too, and see exactly what that was like.
"No, but that's what you'll be calling me tonight," said Snape from the doorway.
"Sevvie!" Lupin launched himself at his lover with a force that knocked them to the floor.
"I think I've twisted my ankle," Snape groaned from beneath Lupin. "Or maybe it's broken. Why do you do that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME???"
"I'm sorry!" Lupin cried. "I'm just so ecstatically happy to see you! I just want you to envelop me in those long, pale arms and force, um, your potions down my throat."
"That reminds me. Have you been taking your anti-transfiguration potion? Because the last time, you forgot, and it was kind of awkward when you transformed in the middle of what we were doing."
They both thought about that for a moment.
"Yes, that was no good," Lupin agreed.
Snape reached into his trousers and pulled out a snake.
Lupin gasped in delight. "For me???"
Snape grunted. "Of course for you. We can extract its poison and cultivate it so that it will make the potion 100 times more potent. You may not transform for a year or more!"
Lupin brushed tears of joy from his cheeks. "Oh Sevvie, you love me so. I can't think of anyone else who would carry a live, poisonous snake in his trousers just for me."
"There's another one where that came from," Snape murmured, and drew Lupin's head down to his.
Lupin pressed his lips to Snape's, cured his ankle so that it was better than new (which unfortunately made one leg larger than the other, but Lupin insisted that he loved the deformity, as he loved all of Snape's deformities), and they lived hatefully ever after. Lupin never again transformed into a werewolf, although they both kind of missed it, and spent the rest of their days looking for an anti-anti-transformation potion.
The End
(Jade, I didn't go to bed. Don't kill me. I have a good excuse. I was reading![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mynuet's Draco/Ginny/Draco fic again.)
Coming Home
Remus Lupin was really, really lonely. "Oh where is my Severus Poo," he bemoaned. "I miss him so."
Suddenly the door slammed open, and a tall, dark figure stood menacingly in the doorway.
"God?" Lupin asked. Fear and hope blossomed in his chest. Since Sirius had died, part of him had wanted to pass beyond the veil, too, and see exactly what that was like.
"No, but that's what you'll be calling me tonight," said Snape from the doorway.
"Sevvie!" Lupin launched himself at his lover with a force that knocked them to the floor.
"I think I've twisted my ankle," Snape groaned from beneath Lupin. "Or maybe it's broken. Why do you do that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME???"
"I'm sorry!" Lupin cried. "I'm just so ecstatically happy to see you! I just want you to envelop me in those long, pale arms and force, um, your potions down my throat."
"That reminds me. Have you been taking your anti-transfiguration potion? Because the last time, you forgot, and it was kind of awkward when you transformed in the middle of what we were doing."
They both thought about that for a moment.
"Yes, that was no good," Lupin agreed.
Snape reached into his trousers and pulled out a snake.
Lupin gasped in delight. "For me???"
Snape grunted. "Of course for you. We can extract its poison and cultivate it so that it will make the potion 100 times more potent. You may not transform for a year or more!"
Lupin brushed tears of joy from his cheeks. "Oh Sevvie, you love me so. I can't think of anyone else who would carry a live, poisonous snake in his trousers just for me."
"There's another one where that came from," Snape murmured, and drew Lupin's head down to his.
Lupin pressed his lips to Snape's, cured his ankle so that it was better than new (which unfortunately made one leg larger than the other, but Lupin insisted that he loved the deformity, as he loved all of Snape's deformities), and they lived hatefully ever after. Lupin never again transformed into a werewolf, although they both kind of missed it, and spent the rest of their days looking for an anti-anti-transformation potion.
The End
(Jade, I didn't go to bed. Don't kill me. I have a good excuse. I was reading
mynuet's Draco/Ginny/Draco fic again.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 01:34 am (UTC)Must. Kill. You. Now.
(or die of hysterical laughter, still deciding)
*sincere kisses*
love, lore
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 02:14 am (UTC)*kills you*
Oh, damn it. Now I'm just going to have to resurrect you again.
SIGH. You are so damned inconvenient.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 03:35 am (UTC)And I haven't written to thank you profusely for the nice things you said about my fic yet, because I was waiting until I could include a working URL for fanart that Stareyes drew. *^^*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 03:49 am (UTC)No, it's not.
I fear I must still kill you.
Meep! Talk about tough love. Wouldn't a small period of time-out be called for before execution? *hides before it occurs to Jade to kill her, too*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 04:37 am (UTC)As long as you keep writing.
Haha, just kidding, I wouldn't kill you anyway.
Don't worry, Sarea knows why she had to die. My violent reactions are hers and hers alone.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 05:26 am (UTC)~Erin
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 06:07 am (UTC)I think Snape and Remus!mun's must see this, no? Have they already?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 07:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 07:56 am (UTC)*wibble*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 07:56 am (UTC)That was disturbingly funny.
Best lines:
Lupin brushed tears of joy from his cheeks. "Oh Sevvie, you love me so. I can't think of anyone else who would carry a live, poisonous snake in his trousers just for me."
"There's another one where that came from," Snape murmured, and drew Lupin's head down to his.
*dies*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 08:18 am (UTC)(And frightening.)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 09:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 09:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 09:26 am (UTC)I haven't left a review - there were some minor criticisms melded with some raves and encouragement. But I haven't had time to type it up yet. Everything has been crazy - but I just finished several large projects and now am trying to play catch up every where else.
I've been such a hermit - I just got to admire your humor at a distance. :(
*hands over pretty flowers to cheer you up* (if you need the cheering)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 04:50 pm (UTC)That is all.