But I don't wanna.
Aug. 13th, 2008 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarea
My cousin is getting married, and I don't want to go to the wedding. Not because I don't like her, or because I can't afford it, or even because I'm not a big fan of weddings. If it were somewhere I could drive to, I'd go. But it's in New York. And while I love New York, a) I just got back from a very fun trip there; b) I don't really want to be there with my family; c) it'd only be for a few days, because I wouldn't want to waste more vacation time on it than that, in which case having to sit through two 5-hour flights (when I absolutely despise flying) wouldn't be worth it.
And on top of that, her wedding day is my birthday. I know it's totally selfish, but hello, that is MY day. Even though it's not like I have anything special planned for that day, it's still mine. I don't want to spend MY birthday doing something I find tedious (I just hate weddings, I don't know why).
In her defense she doesn't know it's my birthday (and even if she did, I'm not sure she'd change it, nor would I expect her to -- not sure what etiquette dictates in a situation like that), because we're not super close. We didn't even know of each other's existence until we were like 16 (I think she's a year younger than me?), and even though she's a perfectly nice and friendly person, I have no desire to go to her wedding. I feel kind of obligated to, because she is my cousin, and she let me and Jade stay with her the first time we went to NY a few years ago, but ... not obligated enough to actually buy a plane ticket to go.
Again, if it were easy for me to do so, in terms of time and cost, I'd go, regardless of it being my birthday. But given the other factors I just can't justify going. My mom says that it's fine, but I still feel guilty. I feel obligated enough that I don't feel right just telling her I'm not going without a good reason. I'd have to make something up about work (which probably won't be untrue, given how things go). So if I'm having to lie about the reason I can't go, does that mean I really should go?
I wonder what NPH would do.
And on top of that, her wedding day is my birthday. I know it's totally selfish, but hello, that is MY day. Even though it's not like I have anything special planned for that day, it's still mine. I don't want to spend MY birthday doing something I find tedious (I just hate weddings, I don't know why).
In her defense she doesn't know it's my birthday (and even if she did, I'm not sure she'd change it, nor would I expect her to -- not sure what etiquette dictates in a situation like that), because we're not super close. We didn't even know of each other's existence until we were like 16 (I think she's a year younger than me?), and even though she's a perfectly nice and friendly person, I have no desire to go to her wedding. I feel kind of obligated to, because she is my cousin, and she let me and Jade stay with her the first time we went to NY a few years ago, but ... not obligated enough to actually buy a plane ticket to go.
Again, if it were easy for me to do so, in terms of time and cost, I'd go, regardless of it being my birthday. But given the other factors I just can't justify going. My mom says that it's fine, but I still feel guilty. I feel obligated enough that I don't feel right just telling her I'm not going without a good reason. I'd have to make something up about work (which probably won't be untrue, given how things go). So if I'm having to lie about the reason I can't go, does that mean I really should go?
I wonder what NPH would do.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 05:29 am (UTC)I think to "make up for it," put some extra thought into what you say in the card and the gift you choose. It's not like you don't care, but ... traveling that far is a huge investment - time, money, emotions. You've a right to take care of yourself, especially as it's your bday!
Anywho, that's my two cents XD
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 05:38 am (UTC)Too late on the present front. My mom has already purchased a gift (a china set, apparently) on my behalf. I could still do the card, but it'd probably be a little weird for the gift to arrive separately from the card. And honestly, I don't know how thoughtful I could be considering that I don't really know her all that well. I don't know any of her preferences or anything. All I know is that she occasionally smokes, which she made me swear not to tell her parents, lol. I suppose I could get her an ashtray... just kidding!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 05:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 06:45 am (UTC)I like your cousin a lot, and she was super, duper sweet to us - but honestly, she won't care if you're there or not. There will be a TON of people there. In fact, you could probably SAY you were there, but didn't have a chance to see her/say hi because you just flew in and out. She'll be too stressed to notice.
Plus, you will not get to open my always awesome birthday box if you aren't home on your birthday. Come now.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 05:40 pm (UTC)LOL @ saying I was there, that would be pretty funny. But yeah you're right, one of the other reasons I don't want to go is -- why should I, when she won't really notice/care? It's probably going to be a big wedding and brides are always stressed and I'm just not that important to her. We're not close enough that of all the people who will/won't be there, she would care about me that much.
Awesome birthday box > all.