the only bright spot: garlic
Mar. 17th, 2010 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarea
So very tired today. I don't know why; I didn't get less sleep or anything. In fact, I might've gotten a bit more than I usually do with my new go-to-work-every-day schedule. Still don't feel 100% in terms of emotional health, but I just have to accept the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do or could've done to make things better. This was just totally out of my hands, and while that in itself brings its own kind of hurt, the sooner I accept it the better I'll be. Of course, it's always been hard for me to trust people and now I imagine it will only be that much harder.
The handyman came this morning to check things out, but not much came of it. He's sure that the insulation in the yard is from the birds, but that doesn't discount other critters. His recommendation is to go with someone who can do the extermination (if any's needed) and the handywork at the same time, and he's going to put me in touch with someone. I don't even want to think about what all this is going to cost, especially if the critters have done any structural damage to the house. He and most people I've talked to about this have all assured me that this is really common stuff. I guess I've just been lucky in that the 5 years I've had the place there really hasn't been all that much work to do... now it's all falling apart! /dramatic He also suggests cleaning the moss off the roof come summer and powerwashing the deck.
Oh but I didn't note the most exciting thing about the yard... the garden! Okay, it's mostly all dead from winter frost and what looks like critters chewing on stuff, but guess what's growing! The garlic I planted! I am very excited about that. It was the crop I really wanted to do well, and which I planted that weren't from seedlings (not that it was hard). The shoots are several inches long now. I should have about 12 garlic bulbs once they're ready to harvest (need to recheck the timeframe, though I know they need to grow a lot more and dry out, that I remember). I'll probably save 3-4 of them for replanting in the fall. The best thing about garlic, other than being delicious, is that it keeps critters away; they don't want to eat it. I do need to get on top of planting other things though, otherwise the lovely gardenromanticalgirl's hubby helped me build will go to waste, and it'll be the most expensive garlic ever. LOL. What I'd really love to plant are tomatoes and basil. Need to find out when to start planting those.
Did I mention that I finished "Eclipse"? Thank god it's over. I haven't started "Breaking Dawn" yet and probably won't until next month, after I've written my D/G Exchange fic (which I am behind on and am trying not to freak out about it) and after Esalen. There was a very short period in Eclipse -- about 5 pages -- that I kind of got into and thought, hey, maybe this will turn out to be OK. Nope. SM lost me soon after that. I bet I'm the last person in the world to read this book, but just in case, cut for spoilers. Bella realizing that she was, in fact, in love with Jacob was just about the STUPIDEST thing ever. And for this series, that's a pretty high bar.
I guess this is a personal thing, but I don't believe in being in love with more than one person at a time. Maybe because I throw so much of myself into someone when I love them, there just isn't room to love anyone else in the same way. So if I *was* 'in love' two people at the same time, in my opinion I couldn't feel that strongly about either one. CERTAINLY not as much as Bella claims to love Edward.
It's fine that Bella loves Jacob -- as a friend. I don't and never have had a problem with that. But IN LOVE with him? That is a whole other thing, and in my opinion, lessens the love she claims to have for Edward.
Plus I just hate that story contrivance in general, where someone is torn between loving two people. It just makes them look shallow, indecisive, and flighty. Bella simply did not need to be even more unlikable (for me), but this managed to do it. So on top of leading Jacob on, constantly trying to throw herself into danger even though she only fucks things up and makes things more difficult/dangerous for the people she claims to want to help, being generally useless, annoying, and boring, now she added the sin of being in love with a second person while claiming to already being madly in love with someone else. NO WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I HATE HER. Guess what Bella? By being in love with Jacob you destroyed the one tiny speck of redeeming quality about you -- your devotion to Edward. Now you don't even have that.
It's not even Jacob himself that bothers me. He's okay, if kind of a whiny, annoying teenager. But I actually like him more than I like Edward, who is boringly flawless. He just doesn't seem like a real person to me at all. Jacob, even annoying, is real to me. But anyway, I would NEVER, EVER even consider being with Jacob unless he imprinted on me. That would just be asking for heartache! Given what happened with Sam/Emily/Leah, I'd know for a FACT that one day Jacob would love someone else, in a complete way he could never love me. And it wouldn't matter at that point that he had loved me (the way Sam had loved Leah). I'd never risk my heart that way. Now if he were to imprint on me, then dude, no brainer. Eternal, no question devotion. Score!
Hmm, have the sudden awful feeling I might be fired or something. My manager has requested two sudden, out of cycle meetings with two of my coworkers (the 'stars' of our little group) while me and an underperforming coworker did not get any such invite. Ugh, I hate this feeling. Though at this point it might even be a welcome catalyst for change.
The handyman came this morning to check things out, but not much came of it. He's sure that the insulation in the yard is from the birds, but that doesn't discount other critters. His recommendation is to go with someone who can do the extermination (if any's needed) and the handywork at the same time, and he's going to put me in touch with someone. I don't even want to think about what all this is going to cost, especially if the critters have done any structural damage to the house. He and most people I've talked to about this have all assured me that this is really common stuff. I guess I've just been lucky in that the 5 years I've had the place there really hasn't been all that much work to do... now it's all falling apart! /dramatic He also suggests cleaning the moss off the roof come summer and powerwashing the deck.
Oh but I didn't note the most exciting thing about the yard... the garden! Okay, it's mostly all dead from winter frost and what looks like critters chewing on stuff, but guess what's growing! The garlic I planted! I am very excited about that. It was the crop I really wanted to do well, and which I planted that weren't from seedlings (not that it was hard). The shoots are several inches long now. I should have about 12 garlic bulbs once they're ready to harvest (need to recheck the timeframe, though I know they need to grow a lot more and dry out, that I remember). I'll probably save 3-4 of them for replanting in the fall. The best thing about garlic, other than being delicious, is that it keeps critters away; they don't want to eat it. I do need to get on top of planting other things though, otherwise the lovely garden
romanticalgirl's hubby helped me build will go to waste, and it'll be the most expensive garlic ever. LOL. What I'd really love to plant are tomatoes and basil. Need to find out when to start planting those.Did I mention that I finished "Eclipse"? Thank god it's over. I haven't started "Breaking Dawn" yet and probably won't until next month, after I've written my D/G Exchange fic (which I am behind on and am trying not to freak out about it) and after Esalen. There was a very short period in Eclipse -- about 5 pages -- that I kind of got into and thought, hey, maybe this will turn out to be OK. Nope. SM lost me soon after that. I bet I'm the last person in the world to read this book, but just in case, cut for spoilers. Bella realizing that she was, in fact, in love with Jacob was just about the STUPIDEST thing ever. And for this series, that's a pretty high bar.
I guess this is a personal thing, but I don't believe in being in love with more than one person at a time. Maybe because I throw so much of myself into someone when I love them, there just isn't room to love anyone else in the same way. So if I *was* 'in love' two people at the same time, in my opinion I couldn't feel that strongly about either one. CERTAINLY not as much as Bella claims to love Edward.
It's fine that Bella loves Jacob -- as a friend. I don't and never have had a problem with that. But IN LOVE with him? That is a whole other thing, and in my opinion, lessens the love she claims to have for Edward.
Plus I just hate that story contrivance in general, where someone is torn between loving two people. It just makes them look shallow, indecisive, and flighty. Bella simply did not need to be even more unlikable (for me), but this managed to do it. So on top of leading Jacob on, constantly trying to throw herself into danger even though she only fucks things up and makes things more difficult/dangerous for the people she claims to want to help, being generally useless, annoying, and boring, now she added the sin of being in love with a second person while claiming to already being madly in love with someone else. NO WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I HATE HER. Guess what Bella? By being in love with Jacob you destroyed the one tiny speck of redeeming quality about you -- your devotion to Edward. Now you don't even have that.
It's not even Jacob himself that bothers me. He's okay, if kind of a whiny, annoying teenager. But I actually like him more than I like Edward, who is boringly flawless. He just doesn't seem like a real person to me at all. Jacob, even annoying, is real to me. But anyway, I would NEVER, EVER even consider being with Jacob unless he imprinted on me. That would just be asking for heartache! Given what happened with Sam/Emily/Leah, I'd know for a FACT that one day Jacob would love someone else, in a complete way he could never love me. And it wouldn't matter at that point that he had loved me (the way Sam had loved Leah). I'd never risk my heart that way. Now if he were to imprint on me, then dude, no brainer. Eternal, no question devotion. Score!
Hmm, have the sudden awful feeling I might be fired or something. My manager has requested two sudden, out of cycle meetings with two of my coworkers (the 'stars' of our little group) while me and an underperforming coworker did not get any such invite. Ugh, I hate this feeling. Though at this point it might even be a welcome catalyst for change.
